The Silent Dreamer
by Cornelia Fox
Summary: Daisuke is sick. Sick of Dark. Sick of the thief's lovers. Thats right, everybody loves Dark nobody cares about Daisuke. So nobody will notice when he is going away, won't they? But Daisuke doesn't know how Dark feels like...[Shonen ai]
1. Chapter 1

**Author: Kenbu  
Gentre: Angst/Drama  
Rated: T+  
chapters: 1 out of 3  
Main Pairing: DarkxDaisuke  
Summary: Daisuke is sick. Sick of Dark. Sick of the thief's lovers. Thats right- everybody loves Dark - nobody cares about Daisuke. So nobody will notice when he is going away, won't they? But Daisuke doesn't know how Dark feels like...**

Hey ya! I'm back with a new story! Hope it's not as confusing as my usual work. Geez, this idea was longer in my head than 'Ruby Wings' and simply didn't give me a break - So I had to write it down ... It's just a crazy idea of mine and I don't expect any good remarks ;D But, hey, you know that I work for pure fun :D  
I have decided that this story will be only three chapters long. I have no strength for another long story like 'Ruby Wings' which is expected to be my longest and hardest work (sighs)  
Anyway, just enjoy reading!

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Chapter One - Dark Deep In Thought

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Bright sun rays shone into the classroom, where twentyfour students turned out the dull voice of their class teacher. Under those students was one whose crimson hair shone in the sun. The pale skin looked paler than usual and in those hair matching big round eyes deep thought was written. As if their owner was lost in a deep day-dream. Rosy lips were slightly parted and the heavy head rested on a pale and delicate hand. 

_Daisuke Niwa..._

The name gives me the shivers. I only have to whisper the boy's name and I can feel my body turning rather hot and my heart racing faster and faster each time I look at him. It hurts somehow. I never had those weird feelings toward him. Well, come to think of it... I did first sense them when Daisuke was kidnapped by the secondhand of time. I can remember that my heart was being torn apart and my mind was being clouded of worry, frustration and despair.

At that time I put this as a 'worry-about-my-counterpart'-feeling away. But ever since then this emotion grew intenser. Of course I perfectly know what that state of emotion is. It would be a shame for the famous and beloved Dark Mousy not to know what love is.

_My lips cracked into a cocky smirk, simply the way everybody knows and loves._

That's right, everybody adores me! Hah! Even that Satoshi-guy likes me! And Krad became a very close friend ever since we defeated Black Wings and Satoshi's father together. Krad and I got own bodies and now we can do whatever we feel like! The Niwas and the Hikaris are freed from their curse and became very good friends.

Risa Harada has changed completely as well. Not only has she stopped stalking me, but also changed her personality into something kind, soft and pure. When I look at her...I can see Rika in her more clearly than ever. It makes my heart fill with cosy warmth. Risa became a wonderful woman.

But what is best - Riku has accepted me at last! Not only this, she became a good friend of mine as well. We have even dated a few times - but that was it. I believe that our relationship won't develop into something that strong. But still- I am sure that Riku is a valuable ally I have gained and that is most of importance.

It all somehow sounds like a short phrase copied out of a wonderful fairy tale, doesn't it? But I don't believe in fairies and therefore my situation certainly is not a fairy tale. Because...

_...becaue then again...there is you...Daisuke..._

After Black Wings was defeated, he became more and more quiet, more reserved and...sadder... Always lost in his own little world...  
I can't explain why he is like that. It just happened, okay? I don't know what it is, but if I knew I would try everything to turn him back to normal!

I always wondered why...why I fell for him. I have to admit that even this time, great **Dark Mousy** has no explanation to that...

I guess Daisuke is just...different. He is an enigma to me. A mistery. A riddle which can't be solved!  
He always acts as somebody else. Always hiding his real thoughts, feelings and intentions behind a polite mask. It irritates me. It fascinates me. Unlike Rika, Risa, Riku or any other girl in this world I have ever met, he has something that attracts me. Something that forces me to want to be with him. I love him. I simply love him! I want to see his smiling face, hear his cheerful voice over and over again and feel his heart lighten.

It had been awful enough as I had seen Daisuke's face with such a hurt look on his face, when I told him I had to leave him forever. He didn't cry nor did he shout at me to not leave him. He knew that this day would come evantually. At that time I was sure that Daisuke had successfully transformed from a clumsy and crying caterpillar into a powerfull and proud butterfly - as I had planned. Even though butterflies are small they can fly large distances and are very strong.

_I was very proud of you, Daisuke..._

Yes...This happened before Krad and I were sealed into the Black Mirror. Three Months we disappeared in there - fighting each other until wie decided to join our strength against our creator: Black Wings.  
I can remember that bastard screaming in pain as he left us forever. I have to admit it filled me with pleasure. No, don't misunderstand me. I am certainly not a killer. But Black Wings has deserved every single pain Krad and I had caused.

_A slow and painful death..._

After that, both Krad and I collapsed and it took us a day to recover from our wounds. I know this sounds odd, but, hey, time goes differently than in the human world. Therefore we weren't really three months away, but in reality only three days. But, hah, what am I saying? You could also say that the other way round was reality, couldn't you?

_You surely can see my smirk, can't you?_

Anyway, we came back only to find that we caused a lot of a ruckus as we flew through the skies on our own majestic wings (we had come out of the Black Mirror in Germany! Don't ask me how!)  
Before the media could bring our faces to Japan we already were at the houses of our ex-hosts.

_I grin at the next thought..._

You should have seen Daisuke's shocked face when I came gliding through the window into his room! All I could think of at that time was to throw myself into his arms and cuddle into his warm and petite body. And so I did.  
At last I could touch him! At last I could feel his heart pounding against my midriff. I will never forget how he cuddled back into my embrace. He had hid his face into my chest and cried out how much he had missed me, whilst his crimson eyes were overfilled with tears.

...Yeah...I had missed him too. So much that it hurted. But I still miss him. I miss the honest Daisuke who would tell me all his worries. The relationship between us had changed completely since my return.

We are both trapped in two different bodies. But we had been so long together that there existed a kind of firm bond between us. This bond allowed me to appear around him as a ghosty shade of myself- just like now. And just like it always had. However, this time I can control wether Daisuke is able to see me or not, allowing me to always be near him and protect him without him noticing.

But these moments a part of my soul share with him have also a different function...

_I can be alone..._

True, I enjoy being in the centre of everybody's attention, but sometimes I simply have enough. I don't need to listen to people's rambling about how great, cool or sexy I am - I know that without their help!  
Krad is the only one who knows what I am doing and he is the one who keeps telling me to open up my feelings towards Daisuke. That this would change our situation completely.

Pah! Don't make me laugh, Krad. You sure are a good talker. Aren't you the one who told me your feelings to Satoshi? And how much you would like to tell him but you are afraid? Hey, Satoshi is already taken! Telling him how you feel will definately change your relationship! Oh, by the way- which relationship are we discussing here right now? You have one?

Well, but Krad is somehow right. I should tell Daisuke. I want him to know it. But that's impossible! How will he react to that? It is so difficult to face him and simply tell the truth... We aren't even in the same classrooms! How am I supposed to do that secretly? Without being **SEEN**? As you know I am always being followed by my admirers! And I have dated Riku before- wouldn't it look odd when I suddenly dated Daisuke? And he is a boy, additionally. That makes me...bisexual...  
Wouldn't things be much easier if you were a girl, Daisuke?

_However, there is another reason why I am afraid to admit my love to him._

The main reason - to tell the truth. His reservess towards me. I am not sure anymore wether he likes me or not. We don't hang out together anymore, because I am always with my friends and adorers. I don't have any time left for him... And when I try to talk to him he doesn't look at me, but when he does it is always when I am not. But what I can feel out of his glare is... hatred...  
But I don't hate him! How could I ever do so?  
When I am home at last, after being interviewed and writing endless autographs, we both are in the room which we are sharing and permanently are in the middle of an awkward silence.  
I can feel it! He tries to avoid me all the time! I can't understand why he is doing that! What have I done to him?

_Dai...su...ke..._

It hurts, Daisuke. It really does. Please stop ignoring me. Please stop faking that smile when you are around your friends. Please **talk** to me! Please **look** into my eyes at least! PLEASE SMILE TO ME THE WAY YOU ALWAYS DID!

Dai...  
su...  
ke...

* * *

This was chapter 1 - hope you liked it. This chapter contained, as you can see, Dark's thoughts and feelings on the whole situation and introducing the plot at the same time. An introduction giving hints of Daisuke's rage in the next chapter. Chapter 2 is going to be about Daisuke's thoughts this time and is planned to be published quite soon.  
Please tell me what you think of the story in a review.  
Until next time!  
Kenbu 


	2. Chapter 2

**Author: Kenbu  
Gentre: Angst/Drama  
Rated: T  
chapters: 2 out of 3  
Main Pairing: DarkxDaisuke  
Summary: Daisuke is sick. Sick of Dark. Sick of the thief's lovers. Thats right- everybody loves Dark - nobody cares about Daisuke. So nobody will notice when he is going away, won't they? But Daisuke doesn't know how Dark feels like...**

* * *

Hi there! Woot! O.O So many reviews! Wow! Thank you sooo very much for all of them! I am so happy!  
This new chapter is based on Daisuke's thoughts. It was really difficult to insert Daisuke's personality...But this time there are also some actions included like 'I went from this place to that place' - something like that. I hope that you won't be surprised that this fic will have no supernatural ultra happy sappy ending! (Hints to the 'Drama and Angst' Genre). But I am not finished with the story yet, but just a warning, yeah? (waits for the reaction of the readers)  
Enjoy reading the story, will you? ;P

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Chapter Two - Daisuke's Anger

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At last the school bell signalised the end of the lesson and therefore the end of the schoolday. Quickly, the students packed their belongings into their schoolbags and ran off. Out of the building. 

_And then I saw him. Him. Dark Mousy._

I slowly walked past a group of Dark's admirers. 'Mr. I'm-too-sexy-for-all-of-you' was there as well. I turned my head slightly and caught sight of Hiwatari-kun, Krad and Riku-san standing next to him. Harada-san was there, too, hand in hand with Hiwatari-kun, occasionally exchanging love gazes with him. Somehow I am glad for both of them.

My body slowly came to a stop, even though I haven't passed the group yet.

But somehow I pity Krad a little. You must be blind if you couldn't see his jealous glares directed at them - and the two lovers certainly seemed blind.  
I smiled weakly. Isn't it fascinating how much you can see when you don't belong to those people?

My eyes slowly moved to Dark's face.  
As soon as I simply looked at him, my heart began to pound painfully against my ribcage. Unfortunatley, I couldn't tear my eyes away from him as I originally wanted to. His handsome face beamed from excitement. His lips were cracked into his feared and well-known smirk as his purple eyes watched his admirers like a cat it's prey. His mouth opened and closed permanently and his lovers occasionally laughed or some even sighed.

Suddenly, as if Dark had feeled my stare, his eyes moved slowly to my profile. His surprised look burned into my heart. It hurted. I flinched and quickly looked away. I began to walk hastily to the school gate. From the corner of my eye I could see Dark fight his way through his admire-group. This made my heart pound even faster and painfuller. I felt how my legs quickened their pace more and more until...

_I was eventually running away from the boy I loved in reality._

I ran and ran, ignoring his calls to wait and ignoring the angry voices of those people I accidently bumped into. I ran with closed eyes.  
I stopped abruptly as my body couldn't take it anymore. My hand rested on a tree trunk in support as I tried to catch my breath. Panting I looked back. And a weak smile appeared on my trembling lips. Even though I wasn't as fast like I was when Dark and I still shared the same body, but I still was a good runner. 'He' wasn't anywhere to be seen. Probably he had been stopped by another group of his fangirls.

Soon my breathing rythm became normal again and slowly I made my way through the crowded streets. I didn't like being here, but it was much better than being at school or home. At least I could be alone with my thoughts and dreams.  
Well, in fact I was always alone. Dark has somehow managed to take my friends from me and now they are his.  
But here nobody knows me and gives me weird stares or ignores me on puropose.

It seems like I am only okay when I am daydreaming, inventing sad stories and writing them down in my notebook. Sometimes I pack out a pencil and a rubber to draw some pictures of different boys in different positions, but always without happy smiles. However, this I am only doing when I am home - and Dark is not.

I bent my head looking to the ground. How could this have gone that far? How could I have turned from a cheerful, normal and clumsy student into a broken, quiet and filthy nothing...

_I guess it all began at the day when Dark came into my life for the first time._

I never believed that all this hard training I had to go through during my childhood was to somewhat...serve Dark on his missions of stealing artworks.

At the beginning, I tried everything to get rid of Dark, I wanted to be normal and always myself. He somehow frightened me because he was so... different. Yeah...He was arrogant, indeed (He still is). And he always enjoyed teasing me!  
But as I already said, he was different from what I know about humans.

_Dark Mousy..._

He always acts so cool. The worst part is that he doesn't have to act because he really is...  
Dark who always looks handsome no matter what he wears. No matter what happens and no matter what he says or does. I was always furious when he flirted with every pretty girl he met. And worst- when they flirted back, all with flushed cheeks.  
Was I jealous at that time?

_No - I do not think so._

I can't deny that as time passed I learned to like - no even love him. I always looked up to him. Always thought that great Dark Mousy can handle everything on his own. I admired him... I sometimes even wished to be him or at least like him.

_Of course this was just a ridiculous dream..._

It was. Because I had as well wished that he would never leave me, even though I knew that this day would finally come and tear this wonderful dream apart. And so it did.

Black Wings came and suddenly everything collided into each other and suddenly there was no Dark. He was gone, forever - that's what I thought and it drove me insane.  
After Dark disappeared I had locked myself in my room and cried my soul out. I refused to talk to anyone for weeks. Finally, I somehow managed to pull myself together. I accepted that Dark was gone. But on the contrary I had changed chompletely and so did my surrounding. So I thought, because everything suddenly seemed to be dull, grey and simply odd. The world were I lived and the people who were by my side slowly vanished. One by one. At that time I had wondered if I was in the middle of a nightmare. I was wrong. It was just the beginning of it.

You see, people only befriend you when you are cheerful, listen to their problems, help them out of everything and when you yourself have no long lasting problems. This is the horrible truth I have learnt a long time ago. Dark is such a person as well.

_And then...Dark came back to me..._

I can remember it so well... Dark - as he one day came gliding through the window of my room on the largest black wings I have ever seen. Losing onyx coloured feathers and spreading them all around my room. His warm smile...warmer than usual. With wide-opened arms and a voice as clear and beautiful as a bell's tune which called my name.

_And those dark amethyst eyes were only looking at me..._

All this happened in a few seconds but for me it felt like eternity. Wonderful long lasting eternity...  
Before I fully comprehended what had happened, I felt Dark's strong arms around my tiny self and his cosy and warm body...  
It was then that I again **had to** cry my sould out...right in front him... and tell him how much I had missed him! Gosh... I embarassed myself...Hadn't he be the one who told me that true men are forbidden to cry? And now something like this had to happen!However, I felt that after I told him this he held me even firmer...It was a short moment in which I felt save and powerful once again.

So, he became a part of my family. We share the same room. Somehow he got hold of an own body. Don't ask me how, but he did. Dark claims that there still is a strong bond between us, even though we don't share the same body, so that we care able to call each other when one of us in danger. I knew that Dark mainly meant me. Tsk. I am not a weakling! However, my family seems to think that as well. I am not allowed to go on stealing missions with Dark anymore - even though he now needs a companion more than ever! ' It's too dangerous for you! ' Oh my gosh! My ass! As if they had cared for my safety when Dark and I where one! What was I actually trained for?  
He goes to school and public places, the police could arrest him at any moment! Well...but they don't...Wait...Maybe Hiwatari-kun has to do something with that? I just mean...They are close friends, right?

Because I was lost in thought and had my eyes fixed on the ground I suddenly met resistance. I just saw a pair of black shoes their sight making my head lift in surprise - but too late. I bumped into someone's chest rather heavily, the impact throwing me down to earth. I landed on my back, painfully.

Slightly puzzled of what just happened I lifted my aching back. Then I looked up to the person I accidently ran into, in order to apologise. However, my words drowned in my suddenly dry throat as my eyes comprehended who they saw.

_And again it was you. You. Dark Mousy._

The phantom thief had a strange look on his face. No cocky smirk. No angry expression. Not even a smirk. His face was completely blank. However, it seemed as if he had known I would come this way...  
Dumbfounded, my brain didn't realise that Dark was offering me his hand, although he had this scary look. Therefore my body acted automatically in taking his hand and letting it being pulled up.

My mind was racing. How did he get here so fast? How has he found me? How? How!  
Dark glared into my eyes, which looked somewhere else - like always. I haven't looked into anyother person's eyes for a very long time. Then, to my despair, Dark spoke: "Gotha. I need to talk to you...Daisuke."  
It sounded like a threat, even though it probably was supposed to be sounding rather friendly.

I didn't reply. I could feel Dark's warmth on my flesh as he still held my hand. But he released it and rested...no... held my shoulder firmly, signalising me not to dare to run away. I somehow became afraid of him, causing my heart to pound again. It was then that I realised that the street we were standing in was completely empty. How...?

"Daisuke," Dark whispered, not tearing his eyes away."Why do you run away from me?"  
Well, Dark. There are a hundred of reasons why, but I can't understand all those hundred reasons myself. I fixed my eyes on Dark's purple locks, but didn't reply. This action seemed to anger Dark, because I felt his grip on my shoulder tighten. It hurted. It burned.

_Because this was the area where I cut myself out of desperation and frustration..._

Suddenly, Dark's other hand was placed on my chin, turned my face painfully to his and forced me to look into his eyes. "What do you think of me?" Dark asked calmly.  
And then the thing happened I always wanted to hide when it came to the phantom thief. As soon as I gazed into his almond shaped purple eyes a sudden explosion of pure rage errupted in my insides.

_Hatred. Nothing but hatred..._

I couldn't stop this emotion. It always appeared when I looked into Dark's eyes. Always...  
It seemed as if Dark saw how I felt, because he backed away slightly and his grip loosened - the pain soothed.  
"Are you still angry with me because of what your mum said?" Dark asked suddenly.  
Yes, Dark. I still am. However, this is just a tiny point on my endlessly long list why I should be angry with you.

It was on a usual day. A day where I got my exams back, to tell the truth. Another exam which I failed.  
You see, my family told me to concentrate more on my school, now that I wasn't going on with helping Dark with his theft. Mainly o-kasan thought I would be able after Dark returned. She was wrong. I am not her same precious Daisuke anymore.

And as I brought the fith failure exam home, she finally exploded. She started yelling at me. Telling me how stupid and what a shame I was to the Niwa family. It hurted. Pretty much, to tell the truth. But what was even more painful was something I never expected her to say. She compared me to Dark. Told me how much better he was and...

_...that she wished he was her son instead..._

Dark had heard every single word of our argument and awaited me in our room in the dark. He tried to comfort me by offering himself to tutor me.  
When I think back it makes me furious! I don't need his sympathy! I don't need his help! What does he think I was? Dirty nothing in his opinion?  
And who does he think he was? He had taken my friends, my family and...He had taken my life away! Does this sound hysterical? But it is true! Isn't it only natural to accuse Dark as the cause of this?

The whole plot ended with me sitting in the corner the whole night, not speaking to anyone. It was the day I started cutting myself, which no one knew.

Dark's voice muttering my name interrupted my thoughts. I could see his face crack into his usual smirk and say:  
"No. It's something different, right?"What?  
I looked at him, truelly surprised.  
"You are jealous, because I am dating Riku, am I right?"  
Yeah right, Dark. In your dreams, maybe. I should have known that this kind of answer should have come.  
Then I talked to him with a dangerous tone and quiet voice: "No, Dark. I am not."  
"Then why are you angry?"  
"Who said that I am?"  
Dark grinned. "I can feel it." His grin became wider.  
I didn't say anything anymore. Why would Dark care? I wonder. Can't he go and bother his fangirls as usually?

Dark ignored the silence and looked behind my back. "Are you going home alone?" He asked obviously puzzled. Then he looked back to me. "Where are your friends?"  
No reply.  
Dark's eyes widened. "What...You mean...you don't have any...? But..."  
That's right, Sherlock Holmes. Very good observation, indeed. Now figure out whose fault it is. I am sure you'll manage it. Come on. Think hard.

"Anyway, should I escort you home?" Dark winked at me and smiled warmly.  
Why is he so happy about this? He doesn't get anything? I stared at him for a long moment. And then...  
I simply turned on my heels and walked away from him. Not even glancing at him once. However, Dark seemed to get it the wrong way. He probably thought I agreed to his offer, because suddenly I felt his hand on my shoulder, again. This time, however, lightly. From the corner of my eye I saw his face turned to mine.  
"Daisuke!" Dark called out. He sounded very excited."Could you please tell me what kind of person I am to you?"

_You are the most important person to me. Because of you my life is living hell..._

An imaginary patience-rope, as I liked to call it, was cut. I had enough of him. I was fed up with him! How can a single human be so arrogant? So, I turned to him and yelled as I haven't done for such a long time: "What do you think, Dark? Huh? What kind of person are you to me? Whose the cause of my misery! Think, Dark! Think! You, Dark! You took my friends and family away! What else do you want? My heart, maybe? Pah! You turned my life upside down! I never said, that it was perfect but at least I was happy! Because of you I BECAME YOUR DIRTY, UNIMPORTANT LITTLE SHADE!"

My chest rose and fell as I finished my little speech and tried to calm myself down. Dark looked at me for a long moment. He had his strange look on his face again, making me slightly nervous. It seemed as if he was lost in thoughts.

It seemed forever as he rose his voice a little and spoke rather calmly: "I am sorry that it had to turn out this way. But why can't you grant me this? All this that is yours? I was in the same situation as you now are, but I was for more than four hundred years. But I am free! Now tell me, Daisuke. Is it bad to try and be normal?"   
My mouth opened in astonishment. I had expected everything but certainly not this. My mind raced.

_He doesn't get anything.He doesn't get anything.He doesn't get anything.He doesn't get anything..._

"You arsehole!" I yelled at him with tears in my eyes. Dark's eyes widened in shock."You don't get anything! You are blind! You make me sick! I am fed up with you...I HATE YOU, DARK!" With that I ran away, once again. Just like in the beginning. If I hadn't run away I would have heard Dark whispering sadly: "Is that so? I am sorry, Daisuke. I hope that you are relieved that you freed this from your soul..." The thief bent his head down and closed his eyes.

I, however, ran and ran. Tears rolled down my cheeks. The wind blew icyly into my face.  
That's it! I am going away! I have enough of this! If I have to have such a life I rather choose to have none at all!  
I hate you! So much that it hurts!  
I hate you so much that it is unbelievable.  
I can't forgive. Never.  
Dark...

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This was Chapter Two! The next one will be about what happens after Daisuke runs away from Dark (grins) and will be written from normal POV. I don't know when I will update - but I will. Just want to warn you that this might take a little longer than with this chapter.  
Once again, I hope that this chapter is accabtable. So please tell me what you think of the story - I want to get better and better :D.  
Kenbu 


	3. Chapter 3

**Author: Kenbu  
Gentre: Angst/Drama  
Rated: T+  
chapters: 3 out of 3  
Main Pairing: DarkxDaisuke  
Summary: Daisuke is sick. Sick of Dark. Sick of the thief's lovers. Thats right- everybody loves Dark - nobody cares about Daisuke. So nobody will notice when he is going away, won't they? But Daisuke doesn't know how Dark feels like...  
**  
Hey, erm...I'm a bit late, aren't I ? ... Sorry, it took so long I just couldn't make the **right** third chapter, I had it in my head, allright but it just wouldn't come down the paper...Every version I wrote was just...(-insert chokings and puking sounds here-)...so I gave up. But I **WANTED** to finish this and voila! I spent one whole night and this came out (at last) just as I intended to (I hope). As you probably noticed, I'm a bit on the edge today XD''' I just hope I won't make awful mistakes when I type and if you do find something...bear with it...sorry...  
Ah! How wonderful! So many reviews!!! I was shocked when I saw all this... positive reports it just made me cry from happiness (not literally plz -.-') But you all are really awesome - you really helped me to complete the story...   
Yo, this chapter is a bit longer then the rest XD and a bit more...erm...angsty? Yeah, maybe because I threw a scene into the story where Daisuke cut himself...Argh just read and find out '''' I'm just happy I completed this. I know I screwed up a bit...but I would be happy to see any comments on this story. Thanks.  
Kenbu

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Chapter Three - The Shadow Of Society

* * *

_Dawn._ The last shiny daylights made their way down to mother Earth before the sun could be replace by the moon. As the sunrays danced, a dark silhouette walked in them. Slowly and securely it went until light showed it's true identity.

_Dark Mousy._

Hands burried in his pockets and face screwed with different emotions, the phantom thief thoughtfully glanced up to the sky.So much had happened recently. Most of it he didn't want or mean to happen. His problem was, that he was loved by those he didn't want to, but was hated by the one he wanted him to love.

"Daisuke..." Dark whispered, his voice full of sorrow. Slowly, he brought his hand to his chest. He felt his heart thump painfully against his ribcage. He felt its weight and it was really heavy.  
The phantom thief never knew how it was like to have an own heart. How it was like to bear the pain of disappointment and rejection alone. Over centuries he had to share feelings with one of the Niwas. Maybe that was the reason why he always had to fall for one of a certain Niwa's sacred maiden? He had never been asked if he even wanted to. It was always the same freaking routine.

However, after four hundred years he appeared in Daisuke, discovering that the cute redhead was different from the other Niwas - and what had to happen? Instead of falling deeply in love with Riku or Risa he fell for his host, Daisuke Niwa!  
Dark sighed and looked down to the ground again.

This was the type of situation in which one wished to be able to control his feelings. Dark never really had been rejected. Dark was normally the one who rejected not vice versa. He was the kind of person who would always get what he wanted - no matter what.  
Now, Daisuke truly stopped that tradition. Yeah, he hated Dark - Dark was sure of that now. Damn, this hadn't been planned. Daisuke wasn't supposed to hate him. Dislike, maybe - but not **hate**.

Frustrated, Dark quickened his pace. At the moment he was just glad that his annoying fangirls left him alone. Really, they became more bothersome these days.  
Dark looked at his wristwatch. Hm... he was quite early on his way home today. Normally, he would have to answer loads of pointless questions in interviews or sign endless autographs the whole time. It all forced him to stay out very late. When he came home at last, he broke down on the sofa from exhaustion, not even looking at his homework. It's not that he did it anyway. He was so famous that teachers didn't dare to mind. And they didn't dare to give him bad marks, too. It's not as if they had any choice. He just had too many good friends in the right position. He was popular. He was powerful...

Dark began to laugh loudly. He laughed and laughed and just couldn't stop. His whole body was shaking from laughter.  
He didn't even stop as a single passer-by looked at him in a worried way. Dark just couldn't help himself. All this was just hilarious! This. His situation.

On one hand, Dark was very famous and additionally extremely powerful but on the other hand he was just dirty nothing who just lost the most important - and only important - person in his life.  
Suddenly, Dark punched heavily into the wall next to him. The fist still resting on te wall, Dark's chest rose and fall as if he had just ran a few miles. He didn't laugh anymore. Instead, there was a glimpse of tears in his eyes. Whether it was due to the throbbing pain in his fist or in his heart - even Dark didn't know. At this very moment, the phantom thief thought of his home where Daisuke probably was now. In the same room. Maybe still with a crying face, maybe not. But what should Dark do about it? Should he ignore Daisuke completely? Or should he ask Daisuke about what had happened? Dark didn't know how to react. He was completely caught off guard.

Slowly, Dark started to walk again. But this time he didn't head home. _Well,_ Dark thought, and smiled weakly, _it seems as if I won't come home until midnight again._

xXx

_How could everything become so cold and dark? How could everything become so unreal and deadly real at the same time? I don't know what to do...I am so confused... My mind... I think I am becoming insane! ...Diary, what does it mean to become insane? I don't want to go away - I just want to be loved and respected once again... I want to be the same again! ...Dark? Why is everything so complicated?_

an abridgement from Daisuke's diary (09.13.04)

xXx

"I'm back" Dark exclaimed as he slowly walked into the Niwa's residence. He was greeted by a cheerful Emiko with a tight hug and a kiss on his forehead. Dark told her he would like to go upstaires and go to bed, because he was very exhausted from his day. Emiko bid him "good night" softly and kissed his forehead again.

Dark, however, was just thankful that she let him go this quickly. He was eager to see Daisuke again.  
He climbed up the stairs which eventually would lead him to his room where Daisuke now was...  
Dark had spent so much time thinking what he would do about the situation with him and Daisuke. And now he knew exactly what he would do when his love was around. He would tell Daisuke how stupid Dark had been, he would confess how much he loved him. And ask him what he had done wrong and promiss to become a better person!  
Yeah, he could see the whole scene with him and Daisuke. How he would tell all those things to his beloved one and how Daisuke's face would lighten up when he would hear all this. Then he would tell Dark, that he loved him too and then...

Dark was suddenly feeling like on ecstasy. His lips were cracked into a wide smile, as he opened the door to his room energetically and yelled: "Daisuke, I - "  
...am sorry?  
Is that what he wanted to say? To admit the truth, Dark had forgotten as soon as he looked into the dark room. Dark blinked. The place was deserted. Dark blinked even more. It was past midnight, so shouldn't Daisuke be already home? Dark looked around carefully and closed the door behind him without tearing his eyes away from his surrounding. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. He could exactly feel Daisuke's presence, but the boy wasn't here. Furthermore, there was a soft smell of blood hanging in the air. What the...?

He quickly walked to the area where he could feel Daisuke's aura the strongest - Daisuke's desk.  
As Dark was standing in front of the boy's desk he noticed a thick pitch-black book laying there, which he had never seen before in his entire lifetime. He lowered his hand and carefully pulled the book from the desk and eventually flipped through the pages.

Dark hold his breath, but nevertheless didn't stop flipping the pages. This was all the handwriting of Daisuke! So, this must be his diary! Wait...Since when did Daisuke write into a diary?  
He was so excited that he didn't even notice the window was widely open.

Suddenly, a single sheet of paper fell out of the book and glided down the ground. Dark stared at the paper, which looked like torn out of a notebook. His eyes were wide opened and his face was now as pale as the sheet itself. He didn't have pick it up to read the letters:  
_"It is better that way, Dark. Good bye - Daisuke"_  
At the bottom were droplets of blood splashed all around the page...

xXx

He stumbled in the heavy rain with shaking knees. Well, his whole body was actually shaking, but he didn't feel it anymore. His crimson eyes were hazy and glassy. His arms hang uselessly from his body and his head was bent, directed to the ground. The small rucksack on his back was hung over carelessly.

Daisuke didn't know where to go. He wanted to run away from Dark and his miserable life. He was tired. He was cold from the unexpected rain. The boy had run for a very long time after he had written the farewell letter in his room. He knew that Dark after seeing his diary would flip through the pages and eventually find the letter in the book. Well at least he hoped he would. But Daisuke didn't wonder how Dark would react. Because he was somehow sure that Dark wouldn't even bother to look at the book. It was just a tiny spark of hope, as already said.

Daisuke sighed heavily. Woh, he did it. He really ran away! He should have done that a lot earlier! It's such a great feeling! Why didn't he jump around and exclaim how much he loved the world? Again it's a wonderful feeling being covered in dirt and filth (after tripping and falling down while he had ran) and having no strength to even cry!!!

Daisuke broke down and fell hard on his knees.  
No it wasn't a great feeling! Most certainly not! His inside was feeling numb because of the permanent throbbing pain from his heart. In the background of his mind there was one question bothering him the whole time:  
"Great, you ran away, Daisuke. But how do you want to survive in this cruel world?"  
Well, first he had to find a shelter. Then he had to find a job for food etc. But how is a fifteen year old boy going to find one? Hm... He could for example draw pictures and sell it to people? Will this really help him to earn his money for living? Sure, he had talent, but there were other people with talent out there too! And with a lot more experience than him! Moreover, he has to buy some equipment too, ne? How is he going to afford it? Where could he just go? ...His situation was even more messed up than had been before...  
Daisuke yelled in frustration. How could this go so entirely wrong?!

Then the boy gasped in surprisement as he realised where his legs had carried him. He was standing on a cliff. Daisuke blinked, obviously puzzled.  
A chuckle escaped his lips. _Why the cliff?_ he thought _Is it so obvious that I want to commit suicide?_ Of course he was being ironic. He didn't intend to throw himself from a cliff. He wasn't that desperate and mentally destroyed to do something in this direction.

As he thought on, he absentmindely looked down on his hands. It was then that he noticed two long knife cuts on his left arm. Daisuke smiled weakly. Today his pain in his heart was even stronger and more unbearable than normally. Was his situation that bad? He wondered.

Daisuke was still smiling as he pulled out a razor blade out of his rucksack. He looked at it carefully and lost in thoughts. Not even the physical pain of today's two wounds could distract him from what he felt inside. But Daisuke didn't want to feel this mental pain, anymore. It just hurt too much. His eyes scanned his entire arm, looking for a good place for another cut. He looked from his palm down to his wrist without turning his hand. Here, his eyes stayed. He clearly saw the blue veins shining through his thin and pale skin. This place was perfect  
Daisuke slowly put the tip of the thin blade lightly on his skin. However, suddenly his body began to shake violently. Now, what was wrong again? Why was he so afraid all of a sudden? Tsk! How was this even possible? He had done this a numerous of times and he hadn't been so scared! This time he just had to make a third and a bit deeper cut - that was all! Tsk, what a coward. If he wanted to feel a different type of pain he had to dig the damn razor blade into his own skin! Come on! Do it!

Daisuke was numb. He heard the wind, the rain and the sea around him. They all screamed with laughter and taunted him by calling him names. The sea sent its water and smashed it against the cliff, as if wantening to pull him into death. The wind beat him and the rain gave him the rest.

_And then...a picture of a smirking Dark flashed into Daisuke's mind._

Daisuke screamed. His terrible scream echoed in the sea, in the wind and in the rain... Daisuke screamed even more and hit the razor blade into his wrist. It made an awful splashing sound. Daisuke cringed his teeth and forced his screeching body to pull it on and on... until he eventually pulled out the blade after cutting an approximatley three inches long wound into his skin.

Suddenly, the blood out of his wrist shoot out of his body like a fountain, as if wantening to escape its prison. This just lasted for a split of a second. But it left a great impression on Daisuke.  
He was paler than usual. Did he just hit an artery? Daisuke shook even more. He felt the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. As he had cut himself he hadn't paid any attention to his mouth and had bitten into his tongue.

But, Daisuke was glad. He really was. It was over, and it functioned! He was indeed distracted! He didn't think about Dark anymore!  
Dark... No... No... He still thought of him! Still thought of how the thief had stolen everything from him. Still thought that it was Dark's fault that it all had to happen like this. Still thought that Dark should have stayed back then... maybe they should never ever have met...

Daisuke slowly got to his feet. He felt so dizzy... The whole world seemed spinning. He made a step and then another one. He didn't see anything. All he could see where painful memories of his past with ... Dark.  
Then he made another step and this one was the last one. All he could say to this was a faint 'huh?' as he tipped over and started to fall. He opened his mouth in order to scream. He stretched out his not wounded hand in a last attempt to grasp the cold rock. But it all happened so fast that he missed it. So, he had to watch in sheer horror as the rock grew smaller and smaller as he fell. He shut his eyes tightly and screamed again.  
He didn't want to die! No! This hadn't been intended! NO!

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!_

Suddenly he felt something grab his arm and prevent him from falling. His body came to a halt. Unbelievingly, Daisuke opened his eyes and lifted his heavy head to look how he was rescued. He gasped as his hazy eyes saw a shining, wonderful black figure with huge onyx coloured wings. They flapped softly in the rythm of the wind as Daisuke and Dark stared at each other. Dark looked furious but somehow relieved. The phantom thief flew back to the cliff and pulled Daisuke on the ground to his feet. Though he had some difficulty- because Daisuke's body shook like mad - but Dark succeeded somehow. He hold Daisuke's shoulder tightly just to be sure.

"Daisuke" Dark said in a stern voice. "What on Earth have I done that it made you jump from this cliff?" Daisuke stared at Dark with a mixture of surprisement and shock. He thought that Daisuke had wanted to commit suicide because of Dark! But that wasn't true! He would never do that! But his farewell letter didn't help in the slightest. As far as he could remember it was covered with his blood!

Daisuke, panting heavily and covered in sweat, began weakly: "No... I-I...didn't...I..."  
Suddenly, his world was covered with fog and his vision blurred.  
Dark caught him, as his body slowly fall toward the ground. "Daisuke!" he exclaimed full of worry and laid the still shaking body of Daisuke carefully on the ground. Dark knelt beside him, holding the boy's upper body in his arms.  
"Daisuke! What is going on? Say something! Daisuke!!!"  
Daisuke, suddenly, lay his wounded hand softly on Dark's chest. Dark looked down and gasped. The hand was all red as it was covered in blood. The shock was too great - even for Dark.

"What the..." he yelled and shook the boy in his arms softly. "How did this happen? How? What did I do...What did I do? I am sorry, Daisuke! You can't imagine how truly sorry I am..." Dark suddenly had tears in his eyes and he was afraid. Very afraid of the boy's safetey.

Daisuke smiled even though he was in pain, weak and couldn't see anything clearly.  
"Dark..." Daisuke whispered and coughed softly.  
"Hey...it's alright...Just don't talk...Please..."  
"No. I...I guess...I couldn't forget you, Dark...I tried...I really did...But I just couldn't. I never hated you and I don't ...want to die..." Daisuke broke off. Tears rolled down his cheeks.  
Dark was desperate. "Shh...you won't die...I promiss...Daisuke...I...I love you... I wanted to tell you this if you just had stayed at home..."  
Daisuke's eyes widened as he heard this. More tears rolled down.

_Why did this come so late? Why did he think that Dark didn't feel the same?_

Daisuke's mouth opened and closed, without making a sound. Now Dark cried as well. Sobbing he bent down to Daisuke's face and kissed him softly and gently on his slightly parted lips. He licked them in order to wipe away the blood from his mouth away, which was spilling out.  
Daisuke inhaled the air and whispered:   
"I...love...you...too...Dark..." And then he closed his eyes as the world around him turned into nothing but pitch-black darkness...

xXx

Later, Daisuke Niwa was brought to hospital on the wings of Dark Mousy in at terrible state. The red haired boy was taken away and Dark had to inform his family. They came immidiately all very worried and especially Emiko cried and broke down on the nearest chair. Kousuke held her tightly, staring into space and trying to turn out her desperate whispers: "I didn't mean it...I didn't mean it... I just didn't..."  
The rest of the family either cried or did as Kousuke. Dark had brought Daisuke's black diary with him. He wanted to distract himself from the panic and abnormal fear in his insides and felt that he needed to know how Daisuke had felt like.

He was finished with it in a few hours, but there were still no news about Daisuke's sate. Dark re-read the very last entry of the diary for the tenth-time and shut the book closed. He looked up from it and stared out of the window from his seat. His face was expressionless and his normally shining eyes were empty and dead. The entry was short and written exactly on the last page of the book.

_Dear diary,  
I am numb. I don't feel anything anymore. I met Dark on the way home and I yelled at him that I hated him. How could I lie like this? What made me do that? How can I ever forgive myself for it?  
I'm sitting here in my room... in complete darkness... as usually I'm alone. Alone with my pain. Alone with my suicidical thoughts and watch how the fresh blood flows down to my hand. The crimson...is so beautiful...but not as beautiful as purple or amethyst...  
I am somehow content right now. I have given up. I just can't take it any longer. I am going away. How long will I surive out there alone? Tsk, I mean I had been alone for such a long time, but I mean REALLY alone? I don't know... I just don't...  
I have to forget about Dark. But it is hard. I didn't want to say 'this' to him. That I hated him. But what should I have done? He had been an ass back then... It's just hilarious and completely ridiculous how I imagined that we still could be together somehow. After, what happened as he had left me for the first time. Dark has changed me. I am desperate. But I have changed nonetheless. I just can't stop hoping for somebody out there to love me the way I am. I am so ashamed of myself. I don't want to live like this, diary. I really don't... I want to go back to the times where I could be a silent dreamer again and watch Dark from far away and hope for his love. This would be my only wish. Bye, diary.  
- Yours Daisuke Niwa_

* * *

The End. 


End file.
